March 18th, 2020
Hi Ben, you dumped me on 18th March 2018, now it’s exactly 2 years since you left me and dumped me like a garbage. Happy DumpMe-versary.
Take a good care of yourself.
I love you still, Ben.
– Paul Maxben.
March 3rd, 2020
I hope you’re doing fine.
The thoughts of you haunt me day and night.
The love you given me and the ugly shit you did to me, it’s like a big ass giant iceberg colliding with a big ass giant volcano and I’m stuck in the midpoint of one big ass collision waiting on a bitter fucking death.
I’m mentally fucked up.
But I love you still, like I always do.
I don’t have much to say in this letter. I just like today’s date 03.03.2020, to write to you.
You dumped on 18.03.2018 Ben, it’s 15 days to go and it will be exactly 2 years since you dumped me, yeah, like a fucking garbage. You dumped me just like that.
Anyway, I changed the font of this website. I like this font. It feels like, um, some very cool typewriter shit.
I’ve changed the site logo too, previously it was “Paul & Max Benhor Hontor – Catholic priest & nephew’s love affair. The Afterfuck. #gayshit”.
Now I’ve altered it to “Paul & Max Benhor Hontor – Love is a heaven and it hurts like hell. – Paul Maxben”.
Take a good care of yourself, Ben dear. Please.
I love you still. It never changes. Not one bit.
Back to learning, making and writing songs.
All for you.
– Paul Maxben.
February 14th, 2020
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ben dear.
Technically ex-boyfriend, uncle & Catholic priest, Reverend Father Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor.
That night, we sat, talked and dated at the chapel at Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish Kota Kinabalu.
You plucked these two fragrant flowers for me. You said to me, “I love you”.
I’ve been keeping these flowers since 2016, Ben. I place it next to my bed on top of the wine with its box that you gifted me. I haven’t drank the wine yet – waiting on you.
I love you too, Happy Valentine’s day, Ben. It’s a second Valentine without you.
Fucking thoughts creep in my head like… who’re you with this Valentine? Who are you dating, kissing and having sex with this Valentine? It hurts like hell thinking shit like these.
Anyway, you’re now at the school called “HAPPY”, well, I’m not going to write the exact name or abbreviation of the school you’re currently taking a course at, for now, I’m spelling it close to what it actually is. I feel like doing to you what you did to me, Ben. What you did to me, I will not forget, I will not forgive. Your smirks haunt me every single second of every single fucking day. Now I’m stuck between fuck you and we had fucked. It’s a love and hate shit, fuck it.
Oh, I have this eye pterygium on my right eye now. It’s a raised, cream colored growth on the white eye next to the cornea. If it later grows and covers the cornea, the iris and the pupil, then it’ll be time for a surgery. Watching too much gay porn probably, or probably raising my middle finger too often at the fucking crucifix, lol.
Oh shit, glad I told about the Our Lady of Miraculous Medal and seems like you’re seeking refuge under that shit and that bitch now aren’t you Ben? Wearing the medal, wearing the shirt… probably to show off or “double face” to people on how religious you are after everyone here knows you had a 3-year gay love and gay sex relationship with your nephew – me. Should HAPPY know about this too? What do you think? I feel like doing to you what you did to me Ben, really. But, I don’t know.
We’ll never get along again right, Ben? We’re both at faults. While my shit is darker, your shit is thicker. But, I hope we’ll meet again, sit down and talk – when your ego subsides, if it ever will.
That’s all for now, going back to work; making and writing songs for you. It’ll be everywhere on the air like “Buwan”. No shit.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ben dear, Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor,
February 5th, 2020
You’re studying at a school named – I’m not going to spell the exact abbreviation but it sounds close to this – “HAPPY”.
Not Loyola School of Theology. But yea, you’re at this school called “HAPPY”.
I’m thinking what to do.
You hurt me like hell, remember that.
What makes you think I can’t give you hell after all the goddamn shit you intentionally did and played on me?
I suppose that your Bishop John Wong and the KK Catholic Church (Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish Kota Kinabalu) are reading paulmaxben.com too. Now, knowing that I know that you’re at “HAPPY”, they might just going to transfer you to another school.
The Catholic Church has always been a clever fox when covering up their priests when the priests have any love affair or sex abuse scandals. The Catholic Church is clever at that.
Also, your friend, Father D, who was caught sex-fucked a boy in Kiulu, then he was sent to the Philippines for like a few years, now he’s back and at St. Peter Claver Church in Ranau and there he has also some sex-fuck scandals, not just with 1 boy, but 3 boys. 1 boy made a report to the church (your bishop met the boy I heard) but probably the boy got paid or compensated by the church so the boy kept his quiet. Now, I heard that Fr. D is getting transferred to Labuan. Interesting game going on here.
May be right when your bishop or the KK Catholic Church reads this, they immediately would not be transferring Fr. D to Labuan. Interesting.
And, not sure what’s the current status going on with the woman who was sex-abused by the old Fr. J.
Seems like the Catholic Church of Kota Kinabalu has a lot of sex shits going on and all these sex shits are being covered up by their bishop, just saying. “The devil in Jesus’ robe”. In fact, anywhere in the world, it’s always the bishops are doing the cover-ups for priests who have any sex scandals.
So Ben, I was wondering, who’s the boy, or boys, that you are secretly dating and dick-sucking and having sex with now? Your childish face hides a million lies. May be now you’ve found a new love sex toy at “HAPPY” to play your convincing little game of love and romance and intimate sex with, right? But then you will later dump that poor ass the way you dumped me, right? The fuck-and-go type you are, just like some of your siblings. It’s apparent. Yea, it’s in the blood, goddammit.
And, may be you’re just like Fr. D too, once did a shit, then later can’t stop doing and repeating the same shit again and again. And the parishioners, the church-goers, they will all just be quiet about it and keep supporting and keep backing up the priests and the church. See, even when paulmaxben.com is out, the parishioners were all shutting their fucks up and yet supporting you and the church and saying I was at the wrong for seducing you, well, fuck these asses and their opinions, Ben.
What did you say to me when we both first admitted our love to each other at Logkou Hill that night Ben? You said to me, “Kiss me”.
Anyway, Ben, I love you still. I do. I’m not going to find you, but instead, my music and my songs will find you. I’m keeping our promise and shit, it hurts like hell.
Please take a good care of yourself there. I love you.
Your nephew & technically ex-boyfriend,
P/S: Who sucks and handjob and getting sex-fucked by your dick now, Fr. Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor? You’re damn good at keeping secrets, just like the way you managed to keep our 3-year gay love and gay sex affair a secret. But you played and dumped the wrong trash, Uncle Ben.
January 30th, 2020
Hi Uncle Ben,
How’s the Philippines?
I’m not sure about this, but I was told that you’re taking a course in Loyola School of Theology in Quezon City. I was also told that you’re going and back forth to Mandaluyong, it’s only an hour from Quezon City anyways. Study? May be.
Oh, I also have this gut feeling that you might not be there in the Philippines for 3 years but you’d be back way earlier than that. I don’t know, I’m only guessing. But feels like it.
So…. who’s your new boyfriend now, Catholic priest reverend Fr. Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor of Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish Kota Kinabalu? Have you managed to find a new handsome boy there in the Philippines? The boys and men there are pretty damn handsome, you know that, of course you do.
And I’m not surprised if you’re now having a gay love and gay sex affair with someone else while taking your Catholic bullshit course right there right now. Or, may be you’re sent there by the church to “straighten” yourself that you fuck pay female prostitutes and bitches, you’re trying to fix your gayness. I don’t know.
You’re good at keeping secrets. We kept our 3-year uncle/catholic priest & nephew’s love relationship and sex affair a secret too.
But now, your wet hard dick belongs to someone else’s mouth and butt.
Oh Ben, you know what? I really think that your Bishop sent you to the Philippines on a fishy purpose. May be. It’s like, a cover-up thing. I mentioned this in the last letter. An agenda.
Anyway, fuck it all. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it doesn’t matter the mighty tons of leviathan-strong back-ups and supporters you may have at the church (Yes, I know they are all ‘protecting’ you), the songs will find you wherever you are, Ben dear.
You loved me, you kissed me, you promised me honey and chocolates and shit, you had sex with me… and then, you dumped me like a fucking trash. It hurts like hell, Ben dear. It hurts like hell.
This wound is as fresh as it was on 18th March 2018, the day you dumped me.
Had I known this shit ended like this, I wish I never knew you.
But, it’ll be a happy ending after all, Ben. The dove and the crow and the bright red sunset, I look forward to that very special day. I promise. You’ll see.
I never once said this was over. Remember that, strawberrily.
You jabbed needles and nails into my heart Ben, and it hurts like hell.
January 17th, 2020.
I’m not sure you’re whether or not you’re reading this but I’ll just write it anyway.
How are you? I hope you’re doing good.
So, have you found any hot handsome boys to have a secret love affair and to have sex with there in the Philippines just like you and I had right before you dumped me?
I’m sure your fucking Bishop “hides” you there in the Philippines for like 3 years “to so-called study” (in Santo Tomas University I think) just so that everyone here in Sabah would gradually forget about your case – Catholic priest Fr. Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor has a gay love and gay sex affair with his nephew (me). And then when you come back here perhaps in 2022 or 2023, everyone would no longer remember about it. But of course you would come back during a semester or a holiday break.
Anyway, there has been some sex-fucking news regarding your friend who is from your batch back in the seminary at St. Peter’s College Seminary. Yeah, your friend, Father D.
We all know about Father D’s gay love and gay sex affair with a kid in Kiulu and when he was caught for the act, your Bishop sent him to the Philippines to so-called study too.
Now that your friend Father D has returned and currently serving in St. Peter Claver Catholic Church Ranau, he is, I heard, said to having the same gay love and gay shit going on again (or sexual abuse) but this time, with 3 boys.
One of the boys reported to the church and your Bishop met the boy, may be your Bishop paid the boy some good money just to make the boy shut up because the boy do actually shut up. Because, what else could shut the boy up if it wasn’t for the good money right? Interesting. Oh shit, Father D is a fucking motherfucking pedophile.
I was thinking, Ben, that may be you would do the same thing too when you return from the Philippines years later? Or may be you would be having some secret gay love and gay shit going on while you’re in the Philippines too? I don’t know.
Also, the old Father J who is now at the old folks home in Papar. I heard that he already admitted that he groomed and sexually-abused (raped) a woman when the woman was still a child like some years ago.
Some priests whom I heard sent by your Bishop approached the woman and asked the woman to drop the case and even gave her some offerings too. Interesting. But thank Jesus’ pinky dick that the woman refused to drop the case and she pushed away the offerings. Good bitch. She has her stand… erm, her stance… erm, holds her ground… urh, whatever, English.
Talking about Catholic Bishop’s helps to cover up shits and predator pedophile Catholic priests, this one is very fucking interesting…
Ben. I don’t know. These priests, including you, and many other priests, are you all in this ‘priesthood industry’ just for the money because in real life you’re not competent enough like technically or academically? Priesthood, it’s a lucrative job, it’s a lucrative career, it’s not god’s-calling. Fuck your Pope fucking Francis when this old-hanging-dick-wrinkled-shit said that it’s not job. It is a fucking job. It is a fucking professional job. It is a high-paying career that is shrouded under a poor cloak. Literally, a semblance.
Also, you made up a really great story too, Ben. There’s an article in SHC’s website, it was some sort of an interview they had with you pertaining why you become a priest and what’s the hardest things you left just to become a priest.
What is laughable and what is clearly false is when you said that the hardest things were (1) You left your girlfriend, and (2) You left your job.
Really? You’re really a fucking good liar, Fr. Max Benhor Hontor. Really.
(1) Girlfriend? No. You were just afraid to admit that you’re gay because you knew people’s bad perceptions toward gay people. You were (and you still are) afraid of being judged. You’re not a bi-sexual person either. You were my boyfriend for 3 years, Ben. We had blowjobs and kisses and sex and we did what all lovers do. I know of your same-sex characteristics and even the way you communicate or get attracted by the type of people by genders around you. I know you too fucking well, Ben. I just didn’t expect that you dumped me off just like that back on 18th March 2018. And fuck you for that. The music and poetry will be my best pay back for that. You’ll see.
(2) Job? You did not even work a high-paying job back then, Ben. You were only a low-paying general worker in an electrical shop in Inanam, Ben. Everyone will be so pleased and happy to leave their low-paying general worker position in an electrical shop, Ben. You weren’t a manager. You were just low-paid general worker, Ben. Leaving such a job isn’t hard. Don’t fucking lie, Ben.
By the way, just to let you know that I have kind of “shut down” my Facebook. It still exists but I quiet it down on purpose and I’d post only on the story section. Whilst in the bio, I wrote, “Be back in 3 years.”
Also, I’ll write and keep all the letters for year 2020 in this post alone. The same for the year 2021, 2022 and perhaps 2023 too.
Anyway, just please, take a good care of yourself, Ben dear.
I love you, like I always do.
P/S: If you want to have sex with someone else, go ahead, Ben. Go on. Cheat on. Because who am I to control you? May be, just may be, only problematic or slightly-problematic priests are getting sent to that university you’re studying in in the Philippines. I mean, those priests that were caught for sexual cases. And it’s in the university, for 3 years, those priests are getting their freedom or were given a freedom, a freedom to fuck and have sex around to satisfy their lust within 3 years before returning to work and act holy fucking moly again. I was thinking about your friend Father D’s news to come up with such conclusion, which might be true too. Because, the Catholic Church is indeed famous for their sex here sex there priests.
Also, I remember watching a real-life documentary about the prostitutes in the Philippines. The interviewer asked the prostitutes about who their clients are and the prostitutes said, “There are many, including Catholic priests too”.
Anyway, we’ll both someday fly together towards the beautiful tangerine red sunset, Ben dear. We will.
Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish, Kota Kinabalu.
Katedral Hati Kudus, Kota Kinabalu.
St. Paul Catholic Church Dontozidon, Penampang.
St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, Ranau.
St. John Catholic Church, Tuaran.
Our Lady Queen of Peace Catholic Church, Kobusak.
St. John The Baptist Catholic Church, Kopungit.
Catholic priest, Reverend Fr. Maxmilliano (Max) Benhor Hontor.