Paul & Max Benhor Hontor

How was Rome, Italy, Fr. Max Benhor Hontor?


I heard that you just returned from a Pilgrimage Walk with Jesus trip with some old folks to Rome, Italy. So how was it?

As I did tons of travel costing back in my previous jobs. I’m pretty sure that for an important person or a leader and in this case, a priest, gets a fully-sponsored trip, fully-paid by all the traveling members of the group.

Lucky you, “Reverend Father” Max Benhor Hontor.

Roaming Rome. Roam my fucking ass.

So, Ben… did the kiss and the love sex stains you had with me that are stuck in your soul and in the delicious glans “the red tasty head” of your adorable penis that I used to have the privilege to mouth over and tongue around on are all gone now purified by the miraculous graze of Rome’s divine air?

I bet you sighted a lot of super hot and super sexy and super fit and super charming and super handsome young men like your favorite boy “M.V” (who is here) there in Rome. Did you get their numbers for your common how-are-you chit-chatting in text?

Also, I’m pretty sure you bought a gift or two for your current secret lover too (if any, but I’m pretty sure you do have). Hell fucking yeah, those should be some valuable and rather expensive gifts. And why the hell not right? You’re a Diocesan Catholic priest, showered with money without having to actually work. What a fucking great life.

Like a sad song by Labrinth, I’m jealous, Ben. I’m not jealous of the money and privileges you’re showered with in priesthood. I’m not jealous of the gifts you may have bought for your new lover. I’m just jealous that you are now in love and kissing and having sex with that new lover. It hurts a lot thinking about this.

It hurts like hell.

The church loves you much, Fr. Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor.

I remember back in March this year during the Lent fasting season. I showed your boss Bishop John Wong the kissing screenshots of you and me. He saw the screenshots. But he kept his still and was quiet about it. What a cool guy.

I had some of the screenshots uploaded to my Instagram @paulmaxben if you want to have a look at Ben. Whereas the rest that I haven’t posted, I would post them all by Christmas this year.

Anyway, since you left and dumped me, Ben, I wished I had recorded all of our intimately naked two become one and the hot and sweaty sex scenes that we had in your car and in my car. Too bad, I have only the phone-to-phone kissing screenshots from our video calls.

But it’s okay, I’m all glad that we had sex for love and not for some porn shit. Oh, I still have the Durex intimate massage gel and two condoms that we haven’t yet use. I’ll store that in case you want to come over and make love with me again because I would love to. It’s dry without you. The tadpoles are crying and longing for you.

I miss your strong and beastly hug, Ben. It was wild. We had it wild.Well, even if it were all recor ded, the church loves you much Fr. Max Benhor Hontor, and you will still remain where you are as a Catholic priest. Loved and backed-up by many. And the people say, “Oh, Fr. Max did a mistake and had now returned to the light”.

Mistake huh? I chuckle that. Return to the light huh? I chuckle that. Fuck them and fuck their fucking craps. We both know the truest true. Only you and I know it all, Fr. Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor.

It hurts like hell. I’m useless. Fuck me right?

Only my heart knows what pain you had inflicted on me Ben. The afterfuck is that I got unloved and thrown the fuck away like a useless garbage by you, the one I love the very fucking most.

You broke our promise. You broke and shattered the love you and I had for 3 long years Ben. It hurts like hell. I’m useless. Fuck me right? But Ben, you surely had fucked me real good. Intimately.

But it’s good to know that you’re still a priest though, because you and I both know that if you’re sacked out of priesthood, you will find it hard to make a living on a normal job and I know you couldn’t. And that’s why it’s a great privilege, it’s a great life and it’s a rich life to being a Diocesan Catholic priest.

And that’s also why many want to become a Diocesan Catholic priest – selling fairy tales because the buyers are plenty – just to escape the hard labors and struggles in a real life, monetarily. For Christ’s sake, I loathe much hearing the lame-ass-heaven-calls-me-to-spread-the-word-of-godzilla yadda yadda bullshit. What a made-up reasoning, a made-up justification, a shitty self-vindication. Even my nipples puked.

Oh my beloved Ben dear, you’re a great green finger when it comes to plants and flowers and pots, thank you for the plants and flowers you gifted me with. I’d say, may be you should invest your super many priest money on a plant nursery side business don’t you think? You can run the side business with your new lover don’t you think? …as I smile in a heart ache, pretending I’m not aching.

I don’t know who is stronger… you, for letting go… or me, for holding still.

I still love you Ben. Cheers to all the memories we shared and all the good sex we had.

Love you to Asgard and back,

About Paul Maxben.

Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish, Kota Kinabalu.
Katedral Hati Kudus, Kota Kinabalu.
St. Paul Catholic Church Dontozidon, Penampang.
St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, Ranau.
St. John Catholic Church, Tuaran.
Our Lady Queen of Peace Catholic Church, Kobusak.
St. John The Baptist Catholic Church, Kopungit.
Katolik Sabah.
Sabah Catholic.
Catholic priest, Reverend Fr. Maxmilliano (Max) Benhor Hontor.