Paul & Max Benhor Hontor

I know you’re back, Ben.


Hi Ben,

I hope you’re doing good and healthy amid this Coronavirus pandemic shit. Anyway, I know you’ve returned to KK, Ben. It’s been two weeks I supposed?

It came to my knowledge that your Bishop John Wong brought you back here and told “HAPPY” (the institute that you were studying at) that you took the wrong course there and therefore cancelled your study and brought you back here.

Wrong course? Funny. Perhaps your Bishop and the church is reading and knowing that I’m going to inform “HAPPY” about the gay love affair you and I had, they made the decision to cancel your study there at “HAPPY” and brought you back. I assumed it was like that and in fact, I was told that it was like that.

I know, your Bishop and the Church did this to somewhat protect the name of Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish of Kota Kinabalu and well, the KK Roman Catholic Church in general.

But fuck it, I’m still going to tell “HAPPY” about you and I, and they are going to look up and read up

So, about your friend; FR. D the pedophile gay priest, your Bishop/the Church is transferring him to Labuan. It’s interesting why Bishop/the Church still keeps this pedophile ass in the church and securing his priest title/job albeit knowing that he has like 4 gay pedophile scandals going on where the first one was when he was serving in Kiulu and the other three occasions with three other boys (2 little kids and 1 grown up) while he was in St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, Ranau. Fr. Nick the residing priest in St. Peter Claver, yeah he knows what’s up with Fr. D but couldn’t do anything about so he’s just, pretty much, being silent or ignore it. So I was told.

Oh yeah Ben, I know the Bishop/the Church is going to transfer you to St. Peter Claver Catholic Church in Ranau soon. Well, in a sense, you’re back to where we first met. Don’t worry, I’m not going to disturb you there because I know how you’re going to set me up using the police and the court if I do, like you did, so I’m not falling for that again. You’re a clever fox, Fr. Max Benhor Hontor.

Oh, I have a feeling that after above-stating that I know you’re going to be transferred to Ranau, your Bishop/the Church perhaps would later change their mind and transfer you to a another parish somewhere else and cancel Ranau. Just like they know I was going to tell “HAPPY” about you and I so they took advantage of this Coronafuckingvirus pandemic frenzy to cancel your study there, telling “HAPPY” you took the wrong course, and brought you back here.

But whatever, every year on the 25th July on your birthday, I am going to St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, Ranau to sort of revisit the memories you and I had, and revisit all the places you and I used to go, so in case you’ll be serving there, just make sure you drive off somewhere else on this very day (again, your birthday) – go and have a date and have an intimate dick-sucking and butt-fucking sex with your new boyfriend (like we used to when were lovers back then) or whatever the fuck you want to do. Oh, I’m jealous at the thought of this, but shit, I could not do anything.

Back to your Bishop/the Church… so, it doesn’t really matter even though you are perhaps to be caught again having some sex scandals in the future, the Bishop/the Church will continue to protect and ‘hide’ you yes? What a good boss, a good company.

Just look at the way Bishop/the Church are protecting and ‘hiding’ Fr. D with his 4 cases of pedophile gay thing. Just look at the old Fr. J with his pedophile case where he groomed and sexually abused a young girl when the girl was like under 12-year old. And, I was also told that the Bishop/the Church was protecting Fr. Bruno for having an affair and impregnating a Catholic Sister (whose now bearing his child) but with too much clear evidence on this had made the Bishop/the Church terminated Fr. Bruno from priesthood.

This act of protecting and ‘hiding’ priests who have sex scandals is the reason, like Fr. D and his gay pedophile shit, keep continuing with his gay pedophile shit, because he knows that no matter the sex shits he’s going to do, no matter how many times he would get caught, the Bishop/the Church will protect him… and the same protecting and hiding perhaps are also ‘assured and insured’ by the Bishop/the Church to all the other priests too, including you. Just like they way they still keep you in priesthood even after knowing that you and I (your nephew) had a gay love and sex affair.

Well, this Bishop/the Church protecting and hiding priests who have sex scandal and abuse cases are a thing that’s been going on with thousands of other Catholic churches all over the world. Even The Pope isn’t doing anything about it. But, as the world knows, The Vatican/The Catholic Church is famous (and infamous) for its pedophile ring. Interesting.

Also, when it comes to the parishioners, they are all the same too – even if they know a priest is caught having a sex scandal or sex abuse or in a love affair with someone, these parishioners will only keep their fucking mouth shut up about it and some more supporting the priest, saying that it’s the priest’s victims or the priest’s lovers fault. Well, fuck it. Oh of course, because most priests, just like you Ben dear, have this “cute face like that of a cute little kitty cat begging to be pet in the furry belly or begging for food with that shining please-pity-pet-feed-me eyes”.

This protecting, hiding, back-ups and cover-ups by the bishop, the Church and the parishioners are encouraging the problematic priests that in days and months and years ahead they (the priests like yourself, Ben) are going to repeat the same pedophile shit, the sex fucking and dick-sucking or whatever the fuck this dick and pussy and dick and dick thing.

Ben, are you now pretending to be holy oh dear mother mary? And since you dumped me like a fucking garbage, do you now have a new boyfriend who is sucking your dick and whose butt you fuck (like you and I did when were still lovers for like 3 long ass years of our relationship), Ben? Oh shit, I’m angered a bit. My bad.

By the way, off the above rant, I’m still a thousand miles away from composing good music from the software I’m dabbling with right now. I still have so many things to learn with this making songs thing but I’m progressing each day, it’s fun and I’m so super fucking passionate for it. It might take up 2 to probably 3 years before I could finally land some really, really good songs but hey, it’s an adventure through and through, and it’ll be worth it someday.

Just like me continuing to love you (despite my fucking anger that you yourself were so used to when you and I were together, lovers) is an adventure through and through, and it’ll be worth it, someday. Because promise is a promise. You broke yours, I keep mine, ours. I’m not giving up on you, remember that.

Because, “If something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.” – Elon Musk

You are important to me, Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor. I don’t know in what sense it is but you are.

No matter the distance between us, no matter the possibility that I’m not getting you back in this life time or in the next if there’s even a next, I will always love you Ben, faithfully.

See you soon Ben,

P/S: It hurts like hell and this wound is as fresh as it was on 18th March 2018.

P/P/S: I made a pretty nice song today and the melody is pretty cool. I titled it “Save me from myself”, you’ll get to listen to it sometime soon. The lyric, the chorus part, it goes something like this…

Somebody save me.
Somebody save me.
Somebody save me.
Save me from myself.

Somebody save me.
Somebody save me.
Somebody save me.
Save me from myself.

I don’t know what the fuck I should do.
I don’t know where the fuck I should go.
I don’t know what the fuck I should do, where the fuck I should go.
I don’t know, I don’t know.

I don’t know what the fuck I should do.
I don’t know where the fuck I should go.
I don’t know what, I don’t know where.
I don’t know who to go, I don’t know.