Paul & Max Benhor Hontor

You make me live through hell after you dumped me like a fucking garbage, Father Max Benhor Hontor.


You make me live through hell after you dumped me like a fucking garbage. While you’re there at this very moment, smiling… and perhaps, all while loving your new love toy… a new love toy that you’re sure as hell will keep it a secret, just like our 3-year love affair that was also kept as a secret.

Father Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor, how’s life? Hell of course you are fucking fine. A priest title is always a fortunate privilege in the lands of the gullible where fairy tales are being vaunted, hailed and sought much like a children crave for chocolate cookies whereas science on the other hand isn’t much valued. People actually believe that snakes can talk. Hilarious. But that’s a good thing to you Ben, it means more money, more benefits.

Again I saw your recent pictures, they made me excruciatingly yet beautifully sick. They made me caught up in a fucked up emotional turbulence of angers and love. It’s a strange wild feeling that makes me want to scream my heart out in a dreadful pain and anger and at the same time joyously dance in a flowery fields while wishing I have a fucking gun in my hands now so I could shoot myself dead so you could happily live the fuck on knowing that I am already fucking dead.

I hate that I still so much and so deep and beautifully in love with that smile of yours and that face of yours and that shortness of yours and that cuteness of yours and you, in all your being and essence. Also the essences of you as in those nights we unzipped and undressed each other, romancing into a wild and intimate nakedness as you and I become one in flesh, making love under the stars.

I have a question for you, Ben…

Who is your new lover now?

Don’t lie about having none, you little mischievous fox. I’m pretty sure you have.

Of course you’re not going to answer the question because your priest title – the money, the privileges, the financial convenience and the financial comfort that your priesthood brings are important to you. They are vital to you I know because without these conveniences, you are nothing, and I’m not at all sorry to say this out straightforwardly. Deep down you know it’s true. But that innocent child face of yours can fake things out so damn successfully. And if you were to answer that question, you could ruin your luxury life in priesthood. But hey, just admit it anyways, see you’re still a Catholic priest even after everyone knows you and I had a uncle and nephew’s gay love relationship.

I was always there when you were still a deacon. I saw the huge shifts and the massive changes in you when you jumped from a Deacon to a Father. Two months after you were ordained as a priest, people started to befriend you and money started to pouring in and I noticed how you cast me aside little by little but still I came over visiting you and asking you out like we used to, and that time we were still friends… then became lovers a few short months later after we admitted our love to one another and had our very first kiss on Logkou Hill and this while you were still serving in St. John Catholic Church in Tuaran.

Your love was good, it was great. And shit, I can’t believe I bought all your convincing lies, Fr. Max Benhor Hontor.

Through our times together, I remember all those moments when I doubted your loyalty. You always seemed to have someone else apart from me. You always seemed to be in another love relationship or possibly a sex affair with someone else while both you and I are in love and doing what lovers do. It’s quite noticeable though. And it’s always the next day after arguing you convinced me again with your love. And everyday I was always confused and dazed as fuck whether or not you said the truth that you had no one else but me and until this very moment, I am still confused and dazed as fuck.

Your secretiveness is another goddamn level of excellence. I was only able to pick up some tiny yet cloudy bits of truths but you were always so very careful about it that I supposed that those tiny yet cloudy bits of truths were only my assumptions. You were so careful, just like you were being careful enough to hide about me and you – our love affair.

I am not at all surprised if you are in a love relationship and have sex with someone else even while you and I were lovers. Like I mentioned before, disloyal blood runs in your veins. The marry, fuck, bear child and divorce type. I’m sure you know what I mean. This runs in your very blood. But it’s all hidden by a saintly face of yours that hides a many great lies.

I am that poor ass nephew you had sex with, Catholic priest, Father Maxmilliano Benhor Hontor.

All I remember was this, we had our last sex in your car that night back in March 2018 and we then returned to Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish Kota Kinabalu where you were serving at (and you’re still there as of this writing) and then the next day, you dumped me.

You dumped me in all of a sudden like a fucking garbage. It’s such a fucking shocking shit that broke my fucking heart and this stupid fucking heart that loves you so goddamn fucking much is still breaking and aching every single second of each fucking day even in the fucking seconds that had just passed a second ago.

But I still loved you, I do. And that’s the biggest problem that fucks me up mentally. I’m always emotionally unstable because it hurts like hell. I said this same shit over and over again and I will keep saying this same shit over and over again because indeed it hurts like hell. You fucked me up so bad Ben dear, really. Call me crazy. It’s you who drove and made me this disturbed and deranged.

I don’t care if everyone supports your ass and I don’t care if everyone backs you up. You can fucking enjoy all fucking that moments being fucking supported and fucking backed up by fucking everyone and fucking living your life as a fucking Catholic priest who once fucking loved and fucking had sex with his own fucking nephew. Smile on, laugh on and smirk at me all you want because you did smirk at me some dozen times when you purposely did all the harshest shit you possibly could just to get rid of me.

I believe you will be very careful from now on. What I mean by that is that you will be very careful with the love affair that you might possibly be having now with whoever the new replacement ass is. A new replacement ass to fuck hard with your dick that once had fucked me hard right in my butt in your church-given car a couple times.

It hurts to have lost your love, a love that you convinced me with. I admit that it hurts to lost our shared kisses and love making too, you were so convincing – the wild hugs and bangs and moans and I love yous and I love you toos.

But you will always be the one whom I first kissed and had sex with and I am thankful to the universe for that. Well, I guess I am not the first person you ever kissed and had sex with right, Ben?

By the way, I still have the slimy lubricant and condoms that we haven’t yet used. You can come by to collect them if you want to and use them to fuck your new lover’s ass. Don’t forget to buy great gifts for this new replacement ass too. Like you always bought and gifted me with gifts when I was still pretty decently handsome like Tom Holland.

This will end, beautifully.

One day, it will all end beautifully. The past haunts the future and the future continues to be restless until it finds peace with its past and if it doesn’t, it still ends… even more beautifully. I am a tree, Ben. A tree that you nurtured, cut and burned. You forgot… you nurtured, cut and burned a living tree. The wind will bring the leaves to you, and may be the storm will. Keep praying to your imaginary god, your imaginary god won’t listen to a fox ass liar like you whose innocent child face hides inside itself a fox ass liar, you.

You’re a good uncle and you’re a good Catholic priest, Fr. Max, Uncle Ben, Ben dear… who had a gay love sex affair with his own nephew, me. Just to remind you that I have all the screenshots of our video-calling kisses with your ‘Dante Diego’ and ‘Diego Dante’ names and your entire clear face on, Bendiego de Diego. And Christmas is just around the corner. Jingle bell.

Take a very good care of yourself Ben dear. Also, keep enjoying the money, the privileges, the financial eases and the comforting praises that your priest title offers you each day. You’re just poor untalented ass without the priest title. And I am always that loyal fucking dog who was always there for you even when you were still a poor ass untalented ass that no one gave a fuck about until the priest title is earned and stamped on your I-used-to-kiss forehead. Fuck me right?

Well, that’s all for now. I love you still though it hurts like hell.

The butt you lovingly fucked & the one who sucked your wet hard dick,
Paul, your nephew.

P/S: I hope I will have the courage to dump your disloyal ass the way you dumped me like a fucking garbage. Till then, I hope you die in a car accident. I hate you but I love you but I hope you die but I hope you don’t die. You messed me the fuck up. The curtain isn’t closing yet.

About Paul Maxben.

Sacred Heart Cathedral Parish, Kota Kinabalu.
Katedral Hati Kudus, Kota Kinabalu.
St. Paul Catholic Church Dontozidon, Penampang.
St. Peter Claver Catholic Church, Ranau.
St. John Catholic Church, Tuaran.
Our Lady Queen of Peace Catholic Church, Kobusak.
St. John The Baptist Catholic Church, Kopungit.
Katolik Sabah.
Sabah Catholic.
Catholic priest, Reverend Fr. Maxmilliano (Max) Benhor Hontor.